


Stars for Christmas Lights

by WritingMage



Category: InuYasha - A Feudal Fairy Tale
Genre: F/M, Melancholy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-26
Updated: 2018-02-04
Packaged: 2019-02-22 05:37:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 2,775
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13160391
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WritingMage/pseuds/WritingMage
Summary: Maybe what she missed the most wasn't the bustle of Tokyo or the chatter of her family. Maybe it was something harder to explain. So Kagome Higurashi just gave a sardonic smile and sighed. Looking up, she pretended the endless stars were Christmas lights, and if she pretended that she wasn't really in a hut but a shrine, she was sure no would notice.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own the characters, and in truth, I only own the interpretation of a certain narrator and some characters and perhaps bits and pieces of the nonexistent plot. Also, this is melancholy and kind of about Christmas but not really.

Kagome looked up. Above her, an infinity of stars stared back. How far were they? How long would it take to reach the farthest star? Idly, Kagome fingered her pendant, her last physical reminder of her family beyond the well. How long would it be before time erased even this pendant was gone? Kagome sighed, and all that left was the vapor of her breathe. Sending her last prayers, Kagome looked over the frozen over landscape before walking back to the hut.

It had been three long years since the well had closed, and somehow, Kagome couldn’t quite believe it. Some last vestige of her girlhood insisted that it couldn’t be right. She was a modern Tokyo girl! She had a family! She had school! With each passing day, those vehement denials became more of a burden rather than a source of hope, and if Kagome’s eyes were a little duller, no one noticed. With one last frowning look to the landscape and Kagome was gone.

Inside, InuYasha blustered to Kaede about their latest exploits in the shard hunt. “Old lady, it was intense!”

Kagome frowned. Since when had InuYasha called Kaede old lady? Eyes squinted, Kagome tried to remember when. Meanwhile on the other side of the hut, Sango and Miroku whispered quietly, and Shippo entertained himself with trying to master a new trick. All in all, it was a good day. The fire kept them warm, and all the chatter was almost enough for Kagome to pretend that she was among her family, that they were all chattering and preparing for Christmas. Kagome leaned closer to the fire, watching the dancing flames.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Original Posting Date: December 26, 2017
> 
> Prompt: N/A
> 
> Word Count: 274
> 
> Note: This is by far not my best writing, but I really wanted to write something. It's always about Kagome missing the fuedal era, isn't it? What about missing her native Tokyo, her family? It's an interesting thought. There's four more chapters, all fully written. Will be posting within the next few days. Tell me what you think! This is NOT a ONE-SHOT. ;) Lol, in case you didn't notice, it'll be told in small bite-sized chapters. Enjoy!  
> ***I have the dreadful habit of writing for fandoms I know nothing about. Let it be known: I have never actually read the InuYasha manga or seen the anime.


	2. Snow

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own the characters, and in truth, I only own the interpretation of a certain narrator and some characters and perhaps bits and pieces of the nonexistent plot. Also, this is melancholy and kind of about Christmas but not really.

Tucked in a thick shawl, Kagome waded through the snow-covered ground. With each step, the less she could feel her toes, even wrapped in thick tabi socks. Across her skin, she felt a flash of goose bumps. Sighing, Kagome tried to remember her first snow in the Fuedal Era. Why, she wondered, had it been so wonderful then? Squinting, Kagome thought of all the things she wouldn't give to be back in the Tokyo sludge. No, it wasn't this pristine snow, but-

"Come on, wench," InuYasha blustered ahead of her.

Lips pinched, Kagome hurried before muttering, "Sit, boy."

Dunked face first in the snow, InuYasha promptly sprang up. "Wench!" With a shake, rather like a dog, Kagome thought bemused, InuYasha cleaned himself of the snow in his hair. "Whatcha do that for?"

A quirk playing at the edge of her lips, Kagome opened her mouth. "Well-

"You would do well to remember that your companions are human." Before them, Sesshoumaru stood, statuesque. The planes of his face were unnaturally smooth in the light, like the granite walls of a mountain.

And probably just as cold. Kagome swallowed. Observing the deadly stillness of even his eyes, Kagome felt an uneasy weight settle in her stomach. "Sesshomaru-sama," Kagome nodded.

"What is your business in the Western Lands?"

Kagome's stiff eyelashes dusted against the cold of her cheek. Breathing deeply, Kagome looked up to the still unmoving demon lord. Steeling herself, she explained, "There were rumors that a Shikon shard's was in one of your northernmost villages. Apparently, there's some water demons causing trouble."

Unblinking, Sesshoumaru studied her intently. In the stillness, Kagome realized that there seemed to be no sound. All she could hear was her jumping heart. Not even InuYasha had spoken-

"Then where," Sesshoumaru intoned gravely, "Is the rest of your pack?"

Kagome jumped. Eyes fluttering for a moment, she responded. "We didn't want to bring out all the Inu-taichi out in the cold."

"Hn. This Sesshoumaru will aid you."

"Keh," InuYasha finally spat, "We don't need ya!"

His predatory eyes finally flickered to InuYasha. "This one does not wish to have your filthy scent to so pollute the Western Lands."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Original Posting Date: December 28, 2017
> 
> Prompt: N/A
> 
> Word Count: 361
> 
> Note: Still missing home, even just the Tokyo sludge... Shrugs. A bigger bite of a chapter this time. Shrugs again. Enjoy!  
> ***I have the dreadful habit of writing for fandoms I know nothing about. Let it be known: I have never actually read the InuYasha manga or seen the anime.


	3. Bath Time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own the characters, and in truth, I only own the interpretation of a certain narrator and some characters and perhaps bits and pieces of the nonexistent plot. Also, this is melancholy and kind of about Christmas but not really.

Pulling away the gooey-strand, Kagome grimaced before letting her wet hair fall limply against her shoulder. Vile, gooey substances were, Kagome decided, too much. Closing her eyes, Kagome pondered what she had ever done to deserve this. Striding to InuYasha, Kagome almost grinned when she saw how InuYasha's ears were pressed tightly to his head.

"InuYasha, take me to a hot spring please."

"Ah," InuYasha paused, "It might take awhile…"

Kagome narrowed her eyes, and InuYasha hastily backpedaled.

"Erm," InuYasha squirmed before settling, "It's a long walk."

"I'm sure that won't be a problem, InuYasha," Kagome said with a cheery smile, "You'll be carrying me."

If InuYasha hastily opened his mouth to retort, no one knew, because Kagome had already said, "Sit."

* * *

Sighing, Kagome stared deeply into the pool of water. What she was staring at, she didn't know, but maybe it didn't matter. So she just let her fingers keep skimming the warm hot spring water, distorting her reflection in the water. Like the rippling water, her thoughts were everywhere and nowhere at once, directionless.

Bath time, Kagome reflected idly some time later, had been her favorite time as a child. Partially because of her love of water, of the ocean, but it probably had more to do with the way her Mama always sung to her, the gentle way her Mama would gather her hair. "It's very important to stay very clean," her mama would murmur, as she gently washed behind her ears.

"Kagome, Kagome, the bird in the basket," Kagome sung, watching the idle movements of her fingers across the water.

She wasn't sure how long she'd been in the hot spring when she finally returned to Kaede's hut. It had probably been a very long time. Raising her hand, Kagome studied her raisin-like fingers.

In the back of her mind, she heard InuYasha's blustered complaining. "Sesshoumaru just finished off the demons so quick! All I got was one measly water demon! It wasn't even his fight," he insisted, crossing his arms with a 'keh.'

"At least," Kagome said with a sly twinkle in her eye, "Sesshoumaru-sama isn't messy in his fights…" With a conspiring wink to Shippo, she continued, "It's a sign of maturity. You, as his younger brother should follow Sesshoumaru-sama's example."

InuYasha's face was aghast, and the rest of the night, all that could be heard was InuYasha's posturing and light-hearted complaining. His cheeks were flushed as he denied that Sesshoumaru could ever be better-

Kagome turned away with an impish smile. However, the longer she stared into the fire, the more nostalgic it became. This, Kagome remembered, was exactly how Souta would get whenever Kagome beat him on his videogames. Staring out to the stars, Kagome wondered what exactly was going on over there, on the other side of the well. Was Jiji well? Souta? Buyo? Mama? Turning away quickly, Kagome blinked away the water in her eyes. It was just the smoke from the fire, she told herself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Original Posting Date: December 29, 2017
> 
> Prompt: N/A
> 
> Word Count: 496
> 
> Note: Thanks to all you guys that support the story :3 Though maybe I should stop mentioning that I don't really know anything about InuYasha... Well, please comment and enjoy! Happy holidays! Also, in the end, Kagome is still a big sister ;)  
> ***I have the dreadful habit of writing for fandoms I know nothing about. Let it be known: I have never actually read the InuYasha manga or seen the anime.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own the characters, and in truth, I only own the interpretation of a certain narrator and some characters and perhaps bits and pieces of the nonexistent plot. Also, this is melancholy and kind of about Christmas but not really.

* * *

They were still in the winter months when Kagome saw Sesshoumaru-sama again. How long it had been, Kagome was unsure.

"Come on, Rin-chan," Kagome smiled. Rin glanced up to her Sesshoumaru-sama with a bright smile. Sesshoumaru-sama's 'hn' was enough for Rin to rush over.

With a bright smile, Kagome led Rin to Kaede's hut. "It must have been a long journey, Rin-chan, especially in the winter."

The girl shrugged with a smile. "Sesshoumaru-sama makes sure that I am safe, Kagome-nee-san."

From her bangs, Kagome studied the girl. She was changing, becoming more than a child. Already, her childhood cuteness was melting away to a certain prettiness, to gangly limbs and shapely face. Kagome ruffled Rin's hair with a soft smile.

"Go on to Kaede's," Kagome said, "I need to finish speaking with Sesshoumaru-sama."

In a rush of black hair, Rin was gone. Turning back, Kagome felt her brow furrow. Breathing deeply, she walked back to Sesshoumaru-sama. With each step she took, the more the uneasiness in her stomach grew. Kagome had never really understood the stoic yokai lord, and she'd never really wanted to. The memory of his dokasso was still too fresh. Kagome internally moaned at the sudden queasiness. Forget for now, Kagome, she told herself. Swallowing, Kagome looked up and nearly took a step back when she saw Sesshoumaru-sama's intense expression.

"Miko, my ward needs to learn human customs. She is on the cusp of adulthood."

"Eh," Kagome squinted, then her eyes widened. "Oh!" With a dull flush, Kagome fidgeted in the intermittent silence. "Erm, so Sesshoumaru-sama, what exactly do you want us to do?"

Sesshoumaru-sama only stared. Perhaps, Kagome reasoned to herself, he thought that what he wanted was obvious. Or maybe, Kagome frowned, he wasn't sure what he wanted. Either way, couldn't he dignify her with a response, any response? And what more, Kagome realized, why was he just bursting in here demanding? They weren't his servants, and they _weren't_ at his disposal. Bristling, Kagome squared her shoulders.

"Sesshoumaru-sama, what would you like for Rin-chan? What kind of human customs? Did someone already speak to her about…" Kagome flushed anew, "About being an adult. Is she going to come and visit or will we meet to teach her occasionally-

"Cease."

Kagome opened her mouth. How dare he- Already, Kagome felt her reiki rising. Gritting her teeth, she forced it down. Yes, Sesshoumaru-sama was an arrogant dog, but he was also a powerful, deadly one. Breathing in deeply, Kagome curled her fists and waited.

It was several minutes before he spoke. "This Sesshoumaru-sama will leave his ward in your care for a year-"

"What?"

"You dare," he asked. The rest of his question remained unsaid, but Kagome understood. She understood _perfectly_.

"Yeah, I do," Kagome retorted, eyes flashing as she stared up to the demon lord. "Does Rin-chan know? What, were you just planning to leave her here?"

Gasping against, the demon lord's oppressive aura, Kagome finally allowed her powers to unfurl. Their gazes locked in a cool stand-off. The demon lord's blank gaze had turned coldly menacing.

"Your reiki is like a drop to an ocean against me, Miko. Do not forget," he said. Turning away in a silent flurry of silks, he began walking before pausing, "No, my ward was not informed."

"Sesshoumaru-sama," Kagome called, desperate, "You can't just leave Rin-chan here like this! You're practically her father!" However, he simply continued walking. "Sesshoumaru-sama," Kagome yelled, "human children are very fragile. You can't, it could cause her damage-"

It was only then that he stopped. Running to catch up, Kagome paused panting. Sesshoumaru only cocked his head and raised a brow in silent question.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Original Posting Date: December 30, 2017
> 
> Prompt: N/A
> 
> Word Count: 609
> 
> Note: Eh... Don't judge too much? Enjoy! Happy holidays! :)  
> ***I have the dreadful habit of writing for fandoms I know nothing about. Let it be known: I have never actually read the InuYasha manga or seen the anime.


	5. Hope

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own the characters, and in truth, I only own the interpretation of a certain narrator and some characters and perhaps bits and pieces of the nonexistent plot. Also, this is melancholy and kind of about Christmas but not really.

Kagome blinked before finally staring at the fearsome demon lord. Then Kagome frowned.

"Sesshoumaru-sama…" Kagome looked down to the snow. What should she say? How could she explain precisely why he couldn't just leave this way? How to explain…

Glancing up, Kagome breathed in deeply. The cool wintry air burned, but Kagome relished the sharp cold. "Sesshoumaru-sama, you really have to tell Rin about your plans. It wouldn't be right to just leave her here without a word. It would almost be like…" Kagome paused, biting her lip. She opened her mouth and took a fortifying breathe against the queasiness in her stomach. "It's almost as though you're abandoning her."

Not daring to look up, Kagome studied the snow-filled horizon. That was when she felt like she was dying.

Sesshoumaru held her above the ground, claws pricking mercilessly against her throat. It took only another blink of Kagome's eyes before she felt the sting of an open wound and a thin silk of blood paving a trail down her throat.

Distantly, Kagome heard herself choking. Was this how she would die?

Then, she fell harshly against the unforgiving snow. Coughing, Kagome stared at the blurry figure in front of her. It was only after a few minutes of coughing that she could even sit up.

Brute, she thought to herself. Maybe the brothers weren't so unalike? Blinking, Kagome summoned all her power to rise from the snow.

"Sesshoumaru-sama, you are like Rin-chan's father. If you were to leave her here without explanation, it would be like you abandoned her-

"You question my honor, human." Above her, Sesshoumaru tilted his head imperiously. "This one should spill your blood for your impudence."

With a fierce frown, Kagome stretched herself to her full height. "And I should just purify you out of existence for daring to harm me when I'm just trying to help you. Look, Sesshoumaru, you can't do this, not to Rin, not to any child, especially not a human child. It can be traumatizing. Rin-chan is young. She won't understand why you would leave her to a group of people she barely knows. To her, it will be as though you abandoned her."

Staring fiercely into Sesshoumaru's depthless eyes, Kagome curled her hands into fists. This wasn't the moment to lose nerve. She wasn't doing this for herself but for Rin-chan. Kagome straightened her spine.

In front of her, Sesshoumaru simply stared. He was statuesque, Kagome noted absently, tall and imposing, without a single thought or emotion on display. He was an empty mask. Perhaps he had not thought to tell Rin-chan because he was uncaring, but because he did not have the ability the care-

No, that couldn't be it. He had to care. He had to, right?

Between them, the silence mounted, creating an invisible wall. Maybe, Kagome feared, maybe, Sesshoumaru wouldn't change his mind, maybe poor Rin-chan would have to suffer that feeling of abandonment. Would she also stare into a camp fire and miss her Sesshoumaru-sama, Jaken, her old life?

No, Kagome couldn't just let this happen! "Sesshoumaru-sama," Kagome bit her tongue, "Sesshoumaru-sama, please don't do this. I tell you from experience that child, especially human ones can't handle separation or abandonment well. What's more, children grow up very fast. Even in a year, Rin-chan could become a completely different person. You don't want to be gone and miss all those little changes…"

Kagome licked her lips. On her tongue, she felt the burden of a thousand words that wished to burst from her mouth. But she kept silent for a while. In reality, there was little more that she could say, so Kagome turned to leave before finally saying, "Please, Sesshouamru-sama for the sake of Rin-chan do not leave her like this. At least, explain to her. At least, come visit every couple of weeks."

When she returned to the village and Rin-chan asked her where Sesshoumaru had gone, Kagome only said that Sesshoumaru said he had very important business to attend but that he would be back soon.

It was a long time before the snow began to thaw. At least a month. Kagome studied the ground beneath her feet. Soon, spring would bring forth a slew of life, of flowers. Perhaps they would cheer Rin, or perhaps they would make her melancholy worse.

Suddenly a shadow loomed before Kagome. "InuYasha, did you already go get the wood? Kaede says there's probably one last big storm coming before all the snow thaws-"

"Keh," InuYasha snorted, "I'm telling ya, there won't be a storm!" He snorted again. "You humans don't have good -nuff senses to know like I do."

Rolling her eyes, Kagome stood up. Together, InuYasha and Kagome walked towards Kaede's hut with a comfortable silence between them. They only had ten minutes more of walking when InuYasha stopped, ears alert.

It was then that Kagome saw Sesshoumaru.

"Whatcha doin' here?" InuYasha's eyes squinted. Stepping behind him, Kagome seconded his question.

"This one is here to speak to his ward-

"Finally got a conscience?" InuYasha sneered. "Took ya a real long time to realize that you ain't supposed to abandon kids, you-

"InuYasha, stop." Walking in front of InuYasha, Kagome pursed her lips. "Why did you come, Sesshoumaru?

Blankly, Sesshoumaru stared down at Kagome. " This one realizes the merit of what you told me some time ago."

Taking a deep breathe, Kagome nodded. "Rin-chan has been waiting for you, Sesshoumaru. I'm glad you came back, but before you see her, will you be taking her home?"

"That is my intention."

Raising her head, Kagome said, "I think you better start talking to Rin-chan before you do that. She's been very sad."

Imperceptibly, Sesshoumaru's eyes widened.

It wasn't much, but maybe it was a start, Kagome mused to herself. Maybe this was the beginning of him being the kind of father that Rin-chan deserved. Maybe Sesshoumaru wasn't so heartless. Maybe Rin would be uninhibitedly happy once again.

Kagome gave a tentative smile and hoped beyond hope that all would be well, that Rin, unlike her, would not have to so miss her family, her home. Surprisingly, Sesshoumaru gave Kagome a nod.

"Thank you," he said before leaving to find Rin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Original Posting Date: December 26, 2017
> 
> Prompt: N/A
> 
> Word Count: 1035
> 
> Note: It may seem unfinished, but I kind of intended that way. This was meant to explore Kagome's sense of abandonment and loss of her family. It's why she feel so strongly about Sesshoumaru's perceived abandonment of Rin. And Sesshoumaru, well, he isn't one to take advice from anybody really. But when he did come back, Kagome sees hope that Sesshoumaru can be there for Rin, be a good dad, a good person. And maybe that's a start for something new, between them, maybe a friendship, an acquaintanceship, maybe nothing. Fin. Hope you liked it.  
> ***I have the dreadful habit of writing for fandoms I know nothing about. Let it be known: I have never actually read the InuYasha manga or seen the anime.


End file.
